In Memory Of..

 The skies are dark today,wrapped in a sheet of clouds.A cold wind enters through my window. A distinct thought hits me and I’m out like a light. Sometimes I wonder how Insensitive and incumbent our lives have become, how in our hasty lives we’ve been so badly indulged ,so lost, that we often neglected those things,never  bothering to give a damn thought to all that once had been dear to us but taken away.  
     Something that was meant to be everything to you but now it holds as just another remnant from the  past. There is just a fading memory ,degrading with every second passing,with every air  you take and let out.

There isn’t any remorse filled with regret, no more words of sympathies, no remembrance talks.Just a reminiscence  and that too just waiting to be forgotten someday.    We now leads this life of knee-jerk emotions because we hide,ignore or would rather not discuss our real infirmities,our true maladies.

     Just few months back, I was weeping over the departure of my beloved 800 from our home. And today I   don’t even have the time to give her a thought. It’s strange how you learn to overcome certain things that had been taken away from you ,you adjust your life to their absence , you endure and you still survive. And one day forgetting all about it till someone mentions it somewhere, somehow to you. For then, sadly, It had already become a  distinct thought.

 This  one thing  that had been so dear to me all these years of my existence, taken away like it meant nothing but  just a piece of metal and plastic put together. But to me it was more than anything. To me it carried a soul within it.

  My first Car, my love from the very first moment when I learned of  the shear competence and adversaries of our ever growing and progressing but morally degrading world.

The impulse was intense. Such was the impact that I did’nt had my lunch at home when dad gave it away  like some piece of junk. I dispised every single word that insulted her. Afterall I grew with this car, I learned my driving in it.My friends loved her. She was fabulous in every single way and nothing can overcome the joy it delivered when I was driving in it around Ring Road,  or else By Pass.

     A decade old she may have looked in today’s perspective but that never kept me away from getting intimidated with her. Right from it’s  choked grunt in the winter morning’s , a puff of cloud that from the exhaust,the cylinders reciprocating like gyrating to some melody in all it’s glory ,a coughed “beep” , the clinging of the  Axle rod during first few rotations ,that blurp from the engine when I slipped the clutch would be simply unparallel in every aspect and every dimension known and beyond human perseverence. Not to forget,an unusual yet sweet fraganance that filled the cabin, the very first moment you enter this car. The fact remains unaltered and firms that this  particular fraganance was actually exclusive to 800’s only. None of the other car I drove or owned had this air of juvenile fantasy draped around it. Allright, I admit I might be exaggerating too much on that note but actually it worked out for me. I had been overly attached to 800 in particular.

    Well all this I guess wasn’t enough for me to keep her protected and to convince my dad to let me keep her. Even though she was’nt in running condition. Her fate was written.  Separations are always painful and heart-breaking. But even at that  I had no relief, no last words of farewell with her.It must have been a dark night when I learned that she is taken away. Again I consumed this as if it was the fate of both of us. May be we were not meant to say good bye, may be this was all to evade us from that agony and discomfort it could have caused to both of us. 800 must have seen this day coming and did’nt wanted me to be there. I always respected her decisions and choices she made. And now I am just contend to live in her absence and the hole she had created in my heart, I might find it difficult to fill.

The clouds are still dark, but one thing is sure

“There ain’t no sunshine, when she gone .”