A room with a view

I know a guy. He lived in a big empty house but still he would remain confined to the walls of his room. The room was small but it was painted in pastel yellow and grey. It was a striking contrast to the colors of rest of the house. The room kept him alive. The room kept him tethered. He felt protected and secure within the walls of his room. Heaps of food packets and mineral water bottles occupied the loft. The drawers were filled with fancy medicines. He had no visitor and would spend his time in front of a blinking computer screen writing random stuff. The room had a small window. The window served as a look out into the outer world for him. He would observe the world through the window and the apparent transformation that had changed the view over all these years. But the window only served only a certain degree of vision and the man couldn’t foresee anything beyond that. Everything else beyond the perspective of window was alien to him.

But the man had a secret. Contrary to the false beliefs, the man would often cross the boundaries of his rooms and walk into the hallway which would lead to a terrace. The terrace was wide and open. There was an old and ruptured wooden chair that lay in the middle of it. The man would occupy the chair and then was lost into a void of empty thoughts. He would stare into a blatant emptiness for hours and still not aware of the course of time. He would then, get up from the old chair, grasp a long breadth and lay down on the floor of terrace. He would look into the bluish skies, watching over the birds fly. He would draw patterns into the dispersing clouds. He loved to hear the chirps of birds on the nearby mango tree or the buzz of a honeybee that would wander over his flowers. He would sometimes close his eyes and let the calm wind flow through his hair.  He watched over the sky as it turned from deep blue to crimson red and orange and finally till the darkness would begin to descend.  The walls of the terrace were too high for him to look beyond them. He knew his options were limited. He had nothing else to do instead of just surviving. He was aware of the fragile circumstances to which he was compelled to withstand. He wanted to escape but was uncertain of his future. He didn’t know where to go. He didn’t know whom to contact. He questioned his identity and his existence now. All this way he tried to remain safe within the proximity of his room, somehow surviving but now he was running out of time as well as resources. He knew there would be no aid coming to his rescue. All that  had to be done has to be decisive actions of himself. But he didn’t know how to survive in the world outside the walls of his room. He now face a grave dilemma: either to live in a false hope that someone would come to his rescue and die in anonymity and solitude or he could gather up his courage and strength and leap over the walls into the outside world where he would gift himself the chances of been discovered and rescued so that he could not only survive but in actual make a life for himself.

*Reality check*

It has been 2 years since the epidemic hit the humanity. The world has lost a majority of population to the deadly virus. Economies have crashed. Governments have fallen. No laws exist anymore. Civilisations are dead. Only a handful survives now. The streets are now flooded with blood and only the dead now walks and packs them. There is no cure. There is no preventative. There is no escape. Confronting with your worst nightmare and surviving are the only available choice.

Thoughful confession

I knew there was something about her from the very first moment I saw her. I knew I am falling for her from the very first moment my eyes set on her. I could say from the memories that I was actually in love with her. Something that makes me wondered if the phrase “love at first sight” indeed works in the same way. It had been almost an year when I first saw her at the local market. Ananya and I were there at a local shop browsing through some music CD’s when she entered. Her perfectly tied pony tail, the grey tank top, blue denims and her glasses with a thick black rectangular frame still serves as a fantasy thought for me. I just couldn’t let go of that appearance from my sight. The way she chewed her gum, the way she expressed her impatience at the shop owner’s lethargy. That attitude and confidence on her face shining within her fair skin.

From the very first moment I realised that she isn’t one of the locals. I knew there was no chance that she could be a native. The way she threw her disgust when the shop owner accidently ignored her and the way she looked at him raising one of her thin eye-brows from behind those specs gave a clear evidence of all that I was assuming. She hailed from Uttrakhand. A girl from the mountains. She had a last name associated with mountain people. I knew the reason behind that serenity on her face and those dark eyes now.

From the very first moment I knew I couldn’t be with her. There was not a trivial doubt about it. I was totally out of her league. There she was a pretty dental student against a guy from a private engineering college. I knew I can never approach her. Plus she was 2 years older than me. I had learned she already was dating somebody else. But even if she was single she would never even care to even put a glance at me.

I was never a guy with great facial characters, neither I had a muscular build, nor I was famous. I was just another face in the crowd, I had an average build and I kept to myself most of the time. I enjoyed my solitary, my laptop and my compact friends circle. i never escaped the realms of rock and metal while she had a thing for soft romantic genre. I watched The Walking Dead and Sherlock while she admired Grey's Anatomy. I was a science fiction geek and always into dark comics while she adorned Disney. The thought of dating her was almost as revolting and absurd as considering oneself to be Robert Plant when you first hold a guitar.

Today I saw her again at the Central. I was with Viraaj. While he was still going through heaps of options to gift his girlfriend I was there standing against the wooden rails observing everything else. I had just turned back when my eyes caught a familiar sight and all those flashbacks from the past sprinted in front of me within a flash. There she was walking past me, in her olive green top and denims. She was wearing the same thick frame black rectangular specs. I kept looking at her awestruck by the chain of events I was witnessing until she finally vanished behind the racks of clothes. The next thing I remember was I had the phone in my hand, eagerly waiting to inform Ananya about this unexpected encounter. He cried at the top of his lungs and double-checked my words. Something had triggered an impulse within him and he told me that he will be finally dropping a mail to her.

I knew he could charm her. He possessed every bit of it and had every trait that could caught her attention which would have otherwise gone absolutely ignored if it had been me. I was cherished by the sight of her face. That dull and monotonous evening would end in a startling view, was never anticipated.

And as I made my way out of the Central, I turned around hoping to see her for one last time before I leave. She was nowhere to be seen. I was upset. Somewhere deep in my heart i was in love with this girl but some part of me was aware that i can never tell her. Logic and Reality were now rendering my thoughts in deep confusion.

I kicked the empty soda can in my way and  looked into the sky. A shooting star streaked right in front of me in that winter night. I took it as a good luck sign and headed back towards home.

Evolution: Through an Engineer's eye

Something had lately made my faith more concrete into believing that contrary to Darwin’s theory, there have been some major flaws in the course of human evolution. I am beginning to assume that the human intelligence clearly didn’t evolved as most of us would have expected it to be. I am falling into considering the fact that during this era of our evolution at some instance the rational and logical ability along with the basic intelligence was assembled only among a particular set of humans.

And so is the development of our DNA blended with the bilateral human characteristics. And so has it continued this far. So at one side, you have a particular exclusive set, displaying higher intelligence, compromising of all scientific class and art prodigy, the other side is disruptively inhabited by those belonging to lower brains. Daft religious fundamentalists, the hungry capitalists, the ruthless oppressors of expressions combined with those who pretend and attempt to cross into the other class through their coercing influences and abusing the power of their authority.

Darwin formulated a scientific argument for the theory of evolution by means of natural selection. He saw evolution as a change in the inherited characteristics of biological populations over successive generations. While I agree to this theory, that evolution gives rise to diversity at every level of biological organisation and better adaptability, it is more evident considering the variety and levels of daftness and idiosyncrasy exhibited by the lower intellect. I forfeit to believe that the non adaptive cause of evolution including the mutation and genetic drift is through natural selection. Intelligence cannot be regarded as mutation or a result of some frequency change in a gene variant but seems to a blessing or a permanent trait injected in the particular group of individuals, undoubtedly through the aid of some celestial and extra-terrestrial life form. Maybe at some point during the course of human evolution, our human DNA was interfered with or modified and fused with an alien genome in order to create a much superior species that stands different from the natural evolution. There could be two viable possibilities: either the intelligence DNA is a misfit result of the cosmic interference or is it possible that this particular higher race is indeed, in whole was an alien race in itself in the beginning. Whatever may be the explanations, it clearly seems to be conflicting with Darwin’s assumptions that that all species of life have descended over time from common ancestors.

Considering the above notions, an ethical question arises regarding this alien intrusion in our development. The possibilities may be endless and the core motive behind this timeless manifestation might still be unknown to the upcoming generations but one thing is quite apparent that this infringement had created a massive rift between two distinct dominant species of this planet and a common perception born out of these qualms. The idea of God and Devil, good and bad, divine worshipping and satanic adoration, spiritual understanding and orthodox practises.

May be we are just a part of some grand reality show or just a puppet in the hands of our master. May be we are part of some celestial social experiment which explains we are nothing more than just a lab-rat. Our purpose is unknown. The answers are still lingering in dark. For now we can only assume that we have been given the ability to determine our own purpose. Our own objectives that lead us to sustain and thrive be it to work together as a community or at the cost of the life of other.

But what is more clearly visible and settled is but a basic impulse towards everything else that surrounds us. Humour and Sarcasm are without any doubt divine superpowers bestowed to only few of us and not just mutation and genetic drift outcomes. Eh ??

P.s: My thoughts about evolution theory are just based upon rough assumptions, the rational explanation of folks I came across during my academic years and my middling knowledge of biology from my initial years at high school. I am just a common engineering student, clearly having no idea about biology and anthropology. I had no valid intention to disrespect the great English naturalist and geologist Charles Robert Darwin but was just trying to reason with and put my own opinions and thoughts. If in course of this writing, I had hurt someone’s feeling intentionally or unintentionally I deeply apologise to them. All though, the former may be subjected to terms and conditions. i just wish Darwin could have made a clear distinction between freethinkers like him and those conservative and violent crusaders of civilisation.

The guilty and the innocent ??

Time of Day: 9 am.

A faint figure walks down the road as soon as the city wakes from its dreamy nights. She walks down slowly but with a steady pace at the side of road where she walks daily. She clips her hands in her ragged pink sweater, staring down at the ground as she makes her way.

     Dhanno is 12. Every day I see her walking down from the slums at the end of the street to Jhawar Aunty’s home. It’s her daily routine and it has become like a habit to watch her come down to my neighbour’s home every morning at 9 and watch her leave at every 9 at night. Initially hired as an aid to take care of Pallavi Bhabhi’s daughter, Aarya, she has now become more like a house servant in their house managing most of their daily routines. All day long while the mother spends her time, chatting on phone and doing everything that goes behind the walls of their house, this girl hops around the parking area and in front of their house carrying the child in her tiny arms. Lately out of curiosity I asked Mom if ever this girl has time for school or any kind of self education. The reply from Mom was an obvious one but still it strike me with an abrupt and excruciating impulse. I was all aware what fate had decided for this girl and there is no way in practicality this child would be escaping the bitter reality of her life, I still felt the weight of that despair ridden utterance hanging over my chest. Something was burning it felt. Something that wasn’t right. I was aware of the evident reply I would receive from Mom to my query but I wasn’t just able to digest the fact and I was thinking it would have been much better if she would have simply lied to me about this little girl. Maybe that would have made her life a little better, a little less miserable, a little more to survival. That was exactly I was expecting. To mask the truth with an ingenuous lie so to make it appear more pleasant and appealing .But I knew this wasn’t how the world functions. The pain and suffering are as much the part of this world as good and happiness. I was too contended with my life till now, there wasn’t anything grand about that day but it just hit like a random thrust stimulating me into a deep gorge of mindlessness and empty dispositions and I found myself drowning into a callous pool of abuses, hurling insults and calling names. Because such was the gravity of that one sight that I couldn’t restrict myself from throwing all that to those people who put this little girl into this wretched situation. It was like something was compelling me to knock on the door in front of my house and beat the pulp out of those bastards who never cared. And even if my abuses were personal to me and confined to the walls of my room and more than that to the walls of my heart, I felt a disgust and repulsion for this family living in front of my own. But realising the verity of the prospect I had observed I knew I couldn’t do anything or little about it. I doubted my own actions. And now I hate myself for realising it. There’s a clear distinction between what you perceive and what you observe. I had learned it.

Time of day: 10.30am.

Somewhere between the slab counter and the shutters of canteen, the life of Rohit and his younger brother gyrates. Every day during lunch time when he arrives at the table to clean it, I try to look into his eyes and wonder if he ever thinks of becoming an engineer or a manager like those he was catering to. But he looks too contended with his way and running as an errand boy around the college. He hops down the corridors, humming a tune which sounds to me something from his native land and doing chores for the faculties and administrative folks. He always carry a smiling face, cracking some jokes to anyone who calls him and there isn’t even a slightest of regret or discontent in his eyes about his life and so does no one cares. But is it really the way it looks? Or is it this guy makes it appears? How can this fellow remain so cheerful even in such an environment and maintain a positive outlook about everything else that is occurring around him? Or is it just that he had learned too well to mask his repentance and short-comings and things destiny had thrown towards him?  Too much confusion building in my brain, there is a train of thought running at expeditious rates that I couldn’t keep up with it and so the apparent questions pops up again in my brain. I ask Vaibhav to call Rohit and ask him about his relation to Mahendra Bhaiya, the canteen owner. He seems to be taken aback by this unexpected query and recognises him with hesitation as his Uncle. Vaibhav and I can sense something fishy in the manner he tried to fool us, there was not even a trivial doubt about it but admitting this to be something personal and none of our own damned concern we decides to skip any further enquiry. I wanted to ask this guy if he has any time for school but then the flashbacks of my 2^nd year in college flows in front of my subconscious eyes when Vaibhav and I asked about the another guy who used to work earlier. And so I satisfied myself with the ignorant thought that what difference fate would have made and added any further distinctions to the lives of Rohit and his brother. All I could do is observe this child everyday trying to make some sense of his life by cleaning the leftovers from the aluminium tables and bringing tea to people. Another moment of disgust for realising it and so I decide to put down the empty cup of tea I was holding for last half an hour and proceed towards my class.

   The ill-effects of the child labour is clearly visible in the society and there isn’t denying a fact at no matter how much the jurisdiction and government tries to put any obstruction to such malicious practises they would still be evident unless someone, somehow comes with any viable and practical approach to put an end to it. The federal laws and regulations constantly proves to be futile and just a bunch of idiotic guidelines never making any real sense out of themselves. Now I don’t know how to tackle this sickening issue that continues to infect our culture and our daily lives but it would be a genuine blessing if there could be any valid, legitimate and sincere advancement against child labour.

And so this thought fades gradually as I exit the door of the canteen and walk away.

Post Break-up syndrome and advantages of being single

I was quietly relaxing that morning, the coffee on my table, watching children play on street, laid back in my chair and listening to Norah Jones , appreciating the beauty of nature and I said to myself warmly, “what a beautiful evening. Life is simply wonderful” . I was at mental peace with myself disconnected from the outside world when all of a sudden a perturbing ringtone on my phone gave a loud buzz and all my fantasy came down crashing right into the coffee on my table. It was Huned calling. AGAIN. “Bhencho, you must give me a valid reason to disturb me this hour of day”, I said to myself.

I picked up the phone. It had been a 5 minutes talk. I finished my coffee, changed into my shorts and rushed towards his home. And as soon as I reached, it was just his neck and my sweaty hands on it.

It would be like 5^th time since I reconnected with him after high school he went into a neuro -attack since his break-up with Munira that would be sending him into rotten- brain-haemorrhage for any day of the month. Usually Saturday’s and Sundays.  I was, literally tired of all the bullshit he kept on repeating about her as I was listening to all that for the last 3 months. Only this time, I couldn’t keep my nerves controlled from hitting him hard and only then I’d say he somewhat regained his senses.

Back to reality. Huned wasn’t the only suffering from bitchy ex-screws-you-over syndrome. I could prepare a syllabus out of all the people I knew who were actually suffering and diagnosed from this hazardous disease. So much for just one person. Why the hell on this damn earth did you ass-clowns get into a relationship, first-hand when you were aware of all this will take place.

 That night, back at home, I spent the night preparing a list of all moral as well as monetary and mental benefits ,an individual enjoy being single.

Advantages of being single:

1.You can eat whatever you want. Wherever you want. Whatever way you want to. There isn’t always someone on your ass, adjusting and planning your diet plans. Anyone judging  your eating habits. Or questioning why do you eat your pasta while lying naked on your couch or why did you take the pizza box on the toilet seat.

The perks, well, you can now eat the entire packet of chips by yourself. There isn’t any morbid thought surrounding you to share it every time you are with your “Honey-pie”  canoodling with him/her as the vicious eyes of all the uncles and aunties in the community garden is set on you.

Blessing for Indori folks and Delhites, I’d say.

2. You can wear anything you want and wherever you want. Unless you are of the likes of “The one who should not be named Poop-star” or next Lady Gaga or if you like dressing up like the midget-whore of Jersey Shore. You can wear your superhero t-shirt to the party, roam around city in your Sponge-bob underpants or go even naked, driving if you want, no one would be there to judge you.

P.S. The naked driving thought is imaginary and mentioned just to add some extra Masala. In no way, the writer suggests you to attempt the above-mentioned stunts. Beware of Fashion-police though. 

 Even there is common misconception among the ladies who expects their men to dress up like Ryan Goslings or David Beckham or even Christian Bale in a Bat-suit(well that went too far).

Men on the other hand, are no less when it comes to decide what there girl should be wearing while going out. I find it strange and totally idiotic how some of my friends actually behave, complaining about their girlfriend’s dress often. If she wears something more seducing, they find it provocative and revealing. If she turns out wearing a dress, with a veil as a complimentary gift, they find it conservative. Damn, bloody chauvinist. Make up your mind for god sake, dude.

3. Here comes the best part. You are free to listen whatever you feel like doing on your computer. There isn’t anyone to judge your music taste. You can listen to anything you want and at whatever volume you like. Unless you are listening to some lunatic and ass-holic Poop-star and if you know whom I am referring to, where in that case, I would be more than delighted to strangle you to death and shoot you with my Plasma blaster canon and then hanging you over the London bridge to send out a message.

There wouldn’t be anyone monitoring your Facebook accounts, Whatsapp and BBM chats and e-mails unless they are already working for NSA or CIA or PIPA or SOPA or any other ridiculously and hilariously put acronym.

Heck even my mom doesn’t monitors my activities so much as much a GF/BF do.

24 hours of un-interrupted  streaming of porn. Hail, if you have the capacity to withstand it. Hail the Metal-gods. Tune up the amps. Plug-in your guitars. Let there be chaos. \m/

4. You are no longer bound to schedules and timelines. You are the master of your own will and there will be no pesky BF/GF acting as a douche whose daily texts and phone calls every morning and every night is the stark reminder of the bloody alarm clock you broke last summer without a second delay.

I often, feel sorry for those friends of mine who spends their  precious hours of life, which could have been spend sleeping but bidding good-morning and good-night, countless times a minute, each in different languages, then with a different accents and then finally  whip-creamed with some weird alien lingo which is certainly beyond human knowledge. 

Yeah at least, such outlandish behaviour encourages them to learn some foreign language to impress their partner but proves to be totally futile and sense-less when it comes to abusing them while breaking-up. Desi gaali always beloved and effective, Bh******.

5. Ah, gone are the days of Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, Vin Diesel, Jet Li or Steve Austin. You should have thought about the sacrifices to be made on the Saturday nights before getting yourself into a dreaded relationship. The only entertainment that remains in your life is those asthmatic and anemic vampires and “Beyond Human Perception” love stories.  Ass holes, if you are one of them, you deserve it. Now don’t cry your ass out.

Cheers to those lucky-ones who saved themselves from any such atrocious  wraths. You can watch your favourite superhero movies without a break, shag between American Pie and Van Wilder and are free to roam naked in your house, in case you live alone, of course. Plus, you save yourself the pain and frustration of explaining the genesis and anthology of Tarantino’s or Martin Scorsese's movie to your movie-illiterate partner.

6. Your room can always remain messy. It would never be properly managed and things would always be lying around. That easily helps you to locate the things when you need them in time. Life becomes handy and easy-going when you are single.

7. You never go bankrupt at every weekend. Your pocket is always heavy enough to make you feel next to Bill Gates,  Mukesh Ambani or next Warren Buffet. You can visit your favourite Pub, buy your favourite Video game and save enough to get that sarcastic tattoo you wanted to get inked on your butt. In addition to that think of all that money you will be saving in your 5-6 years of relationship without those Happy Birthdays presents and out of nowhere Valentine’s Day, Teddy Bear Day, Rose Day, first anniversary, first date anniversary, sex anniversary, blowjob anniversary and first fucking –in-the-car anniversary. Enough to buy yourself a new I-phone or save money for an Alienware.

8. You don’t need to take care of basic human hygienic nature. You won’t be giving a fuck about it. You can go without brushing your teeth for a week, wear the same pair of jeans for a month and use the same underwear for 3 days straight. Save yourself the pain of washing and changing it every day. A decent increment in your monthly budget again and a tight blow to those shitty washing powder ads.

9. You can visit your favourite Art gallery, theatre, the concert of your favourite band, the New -year Eve pool party without asking for anyone’s consent. Feel free to visit your favourite Punjabi Dhaba and go merrily singing, dancing, abusing the lorry drivers and pissing in the middle of national highway.

Writer’s discrete concern: Bring Your Own Bottle.

10. In addition to all these think of all the money you will end up saving that would be spend on buying condoms, chocolates, Vaseline…maybe even vegetables, getting top-ups and recharges, getting your girlfriend top-ups and recharges, getting her best friend’s recharge, getting her dog’s recharge, getting her best friend’s dog’s recharge. Now if you are not stupid enough or if you did not get fail in Maths in the elementary school I don’t think I need to tell you to sum up all that extra- curricular expenses and figure it out for you.

Of course, life isn’t grand if some fucked-up-pussy-licking-mongrel and your once-upon-a-time- friend ends up being in a friend-zone or girlfriend-zone. But then, when I think about it you really don’t need such retards in your lives as they would be doing nothing but making their own existence futile and your’ life a living hell with their broken heart and sobby love stories and minute facts of their partner favourite colour, favourite food, favourite bra, favourite boxers, favourite condom and all shitty stuff. 

  I am not against any sort of relationship. Neither I’m a harbinger of any moral policing underground society. But my point is you really don’t need to sacrifice your own freedom and integrity for the sake of person who can’t love you the way you are. Why to end up with someone who despite of his or her own flaws tries to make every morsel of your damn life changing you. Be with someone who enjoys the life. One who doesn’t create heck out of it. 20-25 isn’t an age to end up becoming a total jerk, depriving yourself of every sexual and earthly pleasures. Be single, enjoy your freedom. Chances are you might end up meeting some friends-with-benefits. Who knows? Damn!